Day of Gratitude

I've been so hung up on losing weight. It occurred to me today (while cleaning the toilet...after I had changed the cat litter) that I might do better if I focused on gaining good things:

Gaining gratitude
Gaining humility
Gaining peace
Gaining love
Gaining joy

Hmmm...sounds like the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, temperance...

I, the project starter, see a 9-week program in this -- focusing on one good thing to gain each week...Or how about each days, a different thing each day for 9 days; and repeat...for however long it takes...even forever.

Day 11: Facing failures

Yesterday was a particularly overindulgent day. Visited the in-laws, where I ate and ate and ate... One the way home, I fretted and fretted and fretted. Not just about the weight, but also about lots of other things, such as the various tasks I need to accomplish at home, with no clue how or when it's going to happen.

Today is a new day... "This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it." I had no idea what a good song/verse that was until I grew up and grew reasons to doubt it. I will rejoice and be glad in this day, with gratitude to God.

Day 8 -- notebook time

Documentation inspiration

Day 7 -- flip-flopping

I vacillate wildly between noble intentions and flat-out resignation; between inspirational notions and defeatist attitudes. This week has been hard, going back to work--plus:

• Taking the cat back to the vet for an ear re-check (and coming home with more meds to administer, twice daily);
• Taking the baby to the public health clinic for her first full round of vaccinations (because we found out our insurance doesn't cover them--and don't get me started about my immunizations misgivings);
• Going to the dentist for a filling replacement, then returning to the dentist when part of said filling came loose;
• Having our neighbors over for dinner for the first time since they moved in next door to us 3 1/2 years ago (and actually, this is the first time we've ever had any of our neighbors over for a meal since we moved here almost 8 years ago);
• Not making it to the optometrist to pick up my contacts, which have been ready and waiting for me since last Monday (10 days ago).

Weight loss, when needed, is a good goal; but this week I just don't care about it enough to do the work.

Day 3 -- fending off fretting

I return to work tomorrow, after 10 weeks off with the baby. I vacillate between eagerness and dread. I am fending of fretting by blogging.

Yesterday was particularly full day, with our first Bible Quiz meet of the year (Viv's first ever), plus a wedding that just Delia and I attended. My biggest weight battle success of the day was resisting the platters full of cookies at the reception after the wedding. Instead of indulging, I loaded a small paper plate with 5 or 6 elegant cookies and took them back to Viv to enjoy. It was a self-sacrificial, satisfying solution to my dilemma: I love cookies, but I love my daughter even more -- enough to save the cookies for her (and helping myself out in the process).

Today has been less victorious, but not horrible. I did eat a cookie Tom brought home from Subway, but only 1, and it was oatmeal raisin (which bears some redeeming nutritional qualities). Just now, I ate some French toast with syrup, but it was Monks Bread minus high fructose corn syrup, and the syrup I used on top was Brown's Berry Patch hot apple cinnamon syrup that seemed more wholesome than Aunt Jemima's. I really ought to get out for a walk today, but I'll have to wait for Tom to get home from his book talk (and for the French toast to settle).

That's all for now. This seems dull, but somehow I need to write it. And anyway, it's just me for now...

Day 1 (no, really this time)

It's October, a wonderful and terrible month. Today was beautiful. Right now is not-so-fun because Will is working and somehow I find it extra vexing (distressing and depressing) when Will works on Friday nights. Not that it's his fault, and I'm grateful he has a steady job, yadda-yadda...

I fear I'm running out of time before the baby wakes up and needs me, so I'll sum up by saying: The 2 best things I did today for my health:

1) I went for a walk. It wasn't a long walk, but it was something. And that's better than nothing. The sun was shining, and the outing improved my mood.

2) I ate a sweet potato for supper, with a little bit of butter and some cinnamon on top. Surprisingly yummy, and loaded with antioxidants, or so I'm told.

One last bit about my mood(s). Lately, I've been feeling these flashes of anger. At what, I'm not sure. But recently -- as in the past couple days -- I've wondered if it isn't anxiety masquerading as anger. I have plenty of reasons to feel anxious, but also -- and God, help me to remember this -- the ultimate reason to feel calm and sure: Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. "He himself is (my) peace..." Ephesians 2:13-15