Grace's A-Town-Oh-Me: a body blog

Day of Gratitude

2010-10-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

I've been so hung up on losing weight. It occurred to me today (while cleaning the toilet...after I had changed the cat litter) that I might do better if I focused on gaining good things:

Gaining gratitude
Gaining humility
Gaining peace
Gaining love
Gaining joy

Hmmm...sounds like the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, temperance...

I, the project starter, see a 9-week program in this -- focusing on one good thing to gain each week...Or how about each days, a different thing each day for 9 days; and repeat...for however long it takes...even forever.

Day 11: Facing failures

2010-10-11T04:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a particularly overindulgent day. Visited the in-laws, where I ate and ate and ate... One the way home, I fretted and fretted and fretted. Not just about the weight, but also about lots of other things, such as the various tasks I need to accomplish at home, with no clue how or when it's going to happen.

Today is a new day... "This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it." I had no idea what a good song/verse that was until I grew up and grew reasons to doubt it. I will rejoice and be glad in this day, with gratitude to God.

Day 8 -- notebook time

2010-10-08T05:40:00.000-07:00

Documentation inspiration

Day 7 -- flip-flopping

2010-10-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

I vacillate wildly between noble intentions and flat-out resignation; between inspirational notions and defeatist attitudes. This week has been hard, going back to work--plus:

Taking the cat back to the vet for an ear re-check (and coming home with more meds to administer, twice daily);
Taking the baby to the public health clinic for her first full round of vaccinations (because we found out our insurance doesn't cover them--and don't get me started about my immunizations misgivings);
Going to the dentist for a filling replacement, then returning to the dentist when part of said filling came loose;
Having our neighbors over for dinner for the first time since they moved in next door to us 3 1/2 years ago (and actually, this is the first time we've ever had any of our neighbors over for a meal since we moved here almost 8 years ago);
Not making it to the optometrist to pick up my contacts, which have been ready and waiting for me since last Monday (10 days ago).

Weight loss, when needed, is a good goal; but this week I just don't care about it enough to do the work.

Day 3 -- fending off fretting

2010-10-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

I return to work tomorrow, after 10 weeks off with the baby. I vacillate between eagerness and dread. I am fending of fretting by blogging.

Yesterday was particularly full day, with our first Bible Quiz meet of the year (Viv's first ever), plus a wedding that just Delia and I attended. My biggest weight battle success of the day was resisting the platters full of cookies at the reception after the wedding. Instead of indulging, I loaded a small paper plate with 5 or 6 elegant cookies and took them back to Viv to enjoy. It was a self-sacrificial, satisfying solution to my dilemma: I love cookies, but I love my daughter even more -- enough to save the cookies for her (and helping myself out in the process).

Today has been less victorious, but not horrible. I did eat a cookie Tom brought home from Subway, but only 1, and it was oatmeal raisin (which bears some redeeming nutritional qualities). Just now, I ate some French toast with syrup, but it was Monks Bread minus high fructose corn syrup, and the syrup I used on top was Brown's Berry Patch hot apple cinnamon syrup that seemed more wholesome than Aunt Jemima's. I really ought to get out for a walk today, but I'll have to wait for Tom to get home from his book talk (and for the French toast to settle).

That's all for now. This seems dull, but somehow I need to write it. And anyway, it's just me for now...

Day 1 (no, really this time)

2010-10-01T16:07:00.000-07:00

It's October, a wonderful and terrible month. Today was beautiful. Right now is not-so-fun because Will is working and somehow I find it extra vexing (distressing and depressing) when Will works on Friday nights. Not that it's his fault, and I'm grateful he has a steady job, yadda-yadda...

I fear I'm running out of time before the baby wakes up and needs me, so I'll sum up by saying: The 2 best things I did today for my health:

1) I went for a walk. It wasn't a long walk, but it was something. And that's better than nothing. The sun was shining, and the outing improved my mood.

2) I ate a sweet potato for supper, with a little bit of butter and some cinnamon on top. Surprisingly yummy, and loaded with antioxidants, or so I'm told.

One last bit about my mood(s). Lately, I've been feeling these flashes of anger. At what, I'm not sure. But recently -- as in the past couple days -- I've wondered if it isn't anxiety masquerading as anger. I have plenty of reasons to feel anxious, but also -- and God, help me to remember this -- the ultimate reason to feel calm and sure: Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. "He himself is (my) peace..." Ephesians 2:13-15

Back-Up Dress...?

2009-09-27T04:37:00.001-07:00

The scale is heading in the wrong direction. I've been--I don't know--too busy, too stressed, too distracted; traveling, working, painting, juggling the ever-changing schedule of this quirky family of mine...Unless something seriously cleansing happens in the next month, that red dress will *not* fit this "Prom Queen" for Halloween. Maybe I should try a bedsheet...

Scary.

Red Dress redress (a.k.a. regression confession)

2009-08-24T18:55:00.000-07:00

I think the key to successful blogging—and many things in life—is to “Just do it.” I don’t always have enough time to compose a clever, witty, wonderful post. It feels that way tonight, anyway. But if I don’t keep at it…well, it’ll fizzle (fo’ shizzle). And I don’t want that to happen.

And just in the process of writing those 52 words, I answered my own question: Should I start over with my 100-day weight-loss venture? No! I should simply persevere. And so I shall! To quote Dory, the neurotic-but-loyal and loveable blue fish in Finding Nemo: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

Confession: I have totally reneged on my no-sweets “commitment” I had made through Sept. 6th. My slide started last Tuesday. I was attending a birthday party for a 1-year-old that was really just a good excuse for a get-together for family and friends of my lifelong chum who lives several states away. She doesn’t get back to A-Town very often—especially this last year, because her baby was born prematurely and had severe health problems—so, since she was here, her sister hosted a bash for a bunch of us. (The baby’s doing great, by the by.)

Anyhow, the birthday cake. The super-sweet woman who made the cake was at the party and everyone was partaking and I just decided it would be rude not to try it. It was no ordinary cake—not in looks, not in flavor. The frosting was…well, unusually smooth, milky and marvelous. Not too sugary. I asked Mrs. Cake Maker about the recipe. It had been her mother’s. And she proceeded to describe the ingredients and the careful, multi-step process required to achieve this fabulous frosting. And I knew I had made the right decision to eat the cake.

I could have stopped with the cake. I should have stopped with the cake. But I didn’t. I’ll spare you my litany of other indulgences from the past several days. By some sweet-tooth standards, my mistakes were modest. But there was definitely a Domino effect at play. I ate the cake conscientiously. Then the next day, I justified another sweet treat (or 2) with barely any justification. The next day, it was even easier. And I was even queasier. And so on, until tonight. Until tonight!

A Facebook friend (a former neighbor) posted the following inspirational quotation:

“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”—Mary Anne Radmacher

I am going to press forward as planned, with a little more planning and a little less procrastinating. Starting in a few moments when I head to bed early enough to get a full night of fat-fighting sleep!

But I know you must be wondering about the title ‘Red Dress.’ I bought it at the thrift store about a week ago: 5 bucks! It’s slightly too small. I’m gonna guess about 15 pounds too small. And by shedding that weight by Oct. 31, I’ll get to be a prom queen for the trick-or-treaters! It’s these silly little prospects that keep me going. I’m an artist—I need visuals! And I need sleep. ZZZzzzzzz……………………..

Image: “Red Dress I,” by Tara Gamel (AllPosters.com)

Word of Day 12: Hydrate

2009-08-17T04:52:00.000-07:00

It's gonna be a hot, hot day. What better reason to up my water intake, something I needed to do anyway. I plan an elliptical workout after work, but not before I stretch my psoas...It's not exactly stretching. In all the research I've been doing, it's called "releasing"--I guess because of the unique positioning of this particular muscle. Patience, Patient Grace.

Day 11: Slacking Accomplished!

2009-08-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

I totally dissed both this blog and my "weight-loss plan" during camp week. Well, not totally. I did steer clear of desserts (except for the pumpkin pie...but I only ate the custard part--hey, it's a vegetable!). Last fall, the no-sweets strategy translated to 10 pounds off, with no additional measures to account for the loss. However, I think I'm going to have to work harder than that to ditch these last 15-20. The scale didn't budge while I was away. Which is OK, but I'm still targeting Nov. 13th as my next big weigh-in.

I'll have to strategize later about the coming week, as my 3-year-old daughter is whining at my side (again), and I don't have the energy to concentrate hard enough to tune her out and think at the same time.

Day 3: Psyching up to slack off

2009-08-08T08:07:00.001-07:00

Today we leave for a week of camp. (Note to potential burglars: There's en extensive collection of mostly worthless baseball cards in the blue bedroom upstairs. But, if I were you, I wouldn't risk being caught by our neighbor Chuck.)

"For the next 7 days, in the grand production called Life, Grace will be playing the part of a woman who breathes deeply, laughs easily and takes things as they come."

I simply refuse to stress! This is vacation. It's also widely referred to as "Slacker Camp." And I intend to get into the spirit of things!

Weight-loss strategy of the week: "Go with the flow."

Evening Assessment: C+/B-

2009-08-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

I had a professor at RWC who often issued us in-between grades such as: Check(-)...and she'd write the "grade" in pencil, as if to emphasize the impermanence of the fuzzy assessment. It used to annoy me, but as I age, I more greatly appreciate the value of approximations.

All that is to say (with a tantrum-throwing pre-schooler carrying out a completely irrational fit beside me on the living room floor): For today, C(+). No sweets, but not enough water, not enough stretching, and no formal exercise.

As Mom says, "Tomorrow is another day."

Day 2: Bring on the Brady Bunch!

2009-08-07T04:48:00.000-07:00

Day 2 of 100, and we're going to have a full house. We're watching my sister's 3 kids, in addition to our own 3, for the next week. It's going to be an adventure! Normally--no, it used to be--I would respond to the inevitable stress of kids fighting and such by stuffing my face. But not anymore. Now, I take better care of myself by breathing, by praying, by expressing myself in writing, using my words to solve problems, instead of abusing my body with too much food. "Hello, my name is Grace, and I'm a recovering food-a-holic."

Other people's responses to situations are not my responsibility--only my own. As for my children, I need to help guide their responses but realize that the choices they make are still--even though having children feels 'like having part of my heart walking around outside my body'--their own.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."--1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)

Breathe You Are Alive

following the breath breathing in, I calm my body. breathing out, I smile. dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment!

· Artist: Jody Uttal

· Medium: Watercolor

· http://www.everypicture.com/original-art/jody-uttal/2298/breathe-you-are-alive.html

Sugar-free Me

2009-08-06T18:53:00.001-07:00

Day 1 of refined sugar abstinence: accomplished. Committed to that part of my "program" for the first month.

Giving myself a "green sticker" for the day:

Exercise: Check

Sugar-free: Check

Tomorrow: A little more water and a little more stretching

Day 1: Getting Started

2009-08-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

I have approximately 10 minutes to devote to this first entry. While I write, the children are fighting, my hair is drying into an awkward shape, and a list of about 37 things I need to do in the next 4 days is ricocheting around my brain like a swarm of bumblebees (which, by the way, is one of the things I need to do before we leave for camp: spray the bee's nest in the northeast gutter).

I'm starting this new blog as a supplement to my other one, Life in A-Town. This is going to be my "body blog," where I write about my ongoing weight war. I'm committed to blogging (and battling) for at least the next 100 days: Aug. 6 (1 day after my oldest child's 10th birthday) through Nov. 13 (1 month before my own 35th b-day).

The name--it's a stretch--but I amuse myself with attempts to be clever: Grace's A-Town-Oh-Me is a play on "Gray's Anatomy." This is a blog about my anatomy, physiology, spirituality, and, I hope, my sanity.